Week 8: Checkpoint -
Improving Clarity
Original: The parental involvement even goes much deeper than as
Romanowski noted above "that is the essence of home schooling" because
home schooling fundamentally alters the parental role.
Revised: The parental involvement even goes much deeper because
home schooling fundamentally alters the parental role.
Original: It makes the parent much more active, and thus greatly
intertwined in the parents personal goals and priorities, that cannot
be equally outside of the home.
Revised: Home schooling gets the parent much more personally
involved in the child's education that is simply not possible within
the traditional educational system.
Original: Traditional education focuses on raw memorization and
learning of facts through primarily a very structured text based
curriculum.
Revised: Traditional education focuses on raw memorization and
learning of facts primarily through a very structured, text based
curriculum.
Original: Furthermore, do the lack of a set structure in the home
school system is allows for the teacher and student to pursue
additional interests.
Revised: Furthermore, the lack of a strict structure within the
home school system allows the student to pursue additional interests.
Original: Ultimately it is that type of focus on education that
is destructive long term, and impedes a pushing to do something that
they really enjoy.
Revised: Ultimately the grades based success damages the student
as it rewards them for pursuing what is easy rather than what they
truly enjoy.
© Erik Smith 2005
Licensed under the GNU
Free Documentation License